It is not about MONEY

It was about 8.30 AM when I got a phone call. On that day I had to teach and I was preparing myself before I left my house. The phone call was from my neighbor, she was the one who came to me about a month ago and she asked my advice for her son’s education. I already shared in my notes “Like No Other”. She was happily telling me about her son progress. She said that after a long discussion with me, she followed my advice to bring her son to see a doctor. And she found out that her son has a problem with electricity in his brain and it can cause difficulties in his learning ability. I was so happy to hear that she finally found out the truth of her son’s problem and I have a great hope that she can be the better parent who can support and make a right decision for her son.

She said she was happy too but she also started to mention that the treatment for her son was expensive. She worried it would be worthless. It bothered me a lot. I told her,” This is about your son, which probably this treatment will be the biggest turning point in his life. If you can buy a branded handbag which you just wear for fashion this is more than that. You have to think this is more than that. This is a part of build your son life and the entire process will build his self esteem.” She said,” The doctor told me that I should bring my son when my son was younger. I told him that I just knew from you” It was a big hit for me. I continued telling her,” You should be happy that you probably a little bit late to bring your son, but still you have an opportunity to find better treatment for him. In this case do you think the treatment just wastes your money? This is a great lesson for us to think. Even we have money but we didn’t meet right person, we didn’t get right advice, we didn’t make a right decision in our life. Money means nothing at all. Something is worthy more than money. Money can not buy time. Never regretted that you have spend the money right now for your son; because this is an investment, this is the biggest foundation which you build to help your son for the rest of his life. Think about this. If your son gets the right treatment and he can life better. You will be a happy mom if your son will be a great person in his life. It is a great long investment”

Parents like to be a good accountant when dealing with money. Actually in our children life it is not only how much money we can give to them but how much support which we can give to build our children life.
I like to copy the Chinese proverbs:

• With money you can buy a house, but not a home.
• With money you can buy a clock, but not time.
• With money you can buy a bed, but not sleep.
• With money you can buy a book, but not knowledge.
• With money you can buy a doctor, but not good health.
• With money you can buy a position, but not respect.
• With money you can buy blood, but not life.
• With money you can buy sex, but not love.

Jakarta, May 27, 2009 at 7.07AM
**Lina Kartasasmita**

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Table topic 1: Never… never give up

It was Tuesday; I used to come to Plaza Senayan for public speaking meeting there. Part of the public speaking is a table topic session. My friend Vina Tan leaded the session and she asked many questions which one of her question was “Never… never give up” I was about to answer that but I already had a role as General Evaluator, so it was better to give the chance to others. Anyway my mind kept thinking about the question and I really want to write the answer here in my blogs. Never… never give up! I like that statement a lot. Once in my life I was about to give up my project for Advance communicator Bronze in Toastmaster International. I thought I picked a wrong manual. I couldn’t find any idea to write about the project and I didn’t know how to finish the manual. I was about to change my manual with another manual. I looked back and fort the manual and I thought over and over again. Actually it was simple thing to decide, I could change the manual without any problem but something b
Read more

We love to love

Image
It was just regular day, but I had two special moments to celebrate. It was my 28 th wedding anniversay and my daughter ’ s birthday. I never expected something special, any gifts or anything. As a quote from Leo Buscagalia said,  “Love is always bestowed as a gift -freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved, we love to love.” Marriage is not an easy journey in life.  The fact that no all the people can have a long lasting marriage. I am probably still the lucky one  … Some people asked me,  “ How do you manage your marriage life ? ” Fawn Weaver said,  “ The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace. ” It is really important that we should have mutual respect, to give space for our spouse to be himself or herself. Respect that they have their own point of view. We can agree or disagree with that point of view, but we can always discuss it not as com
Read more

Dealing with difficult person with acceptance

Acceptance and tolerance and forgiveness, those are life-altering lessons. Jessica Lange On that evening my husband suddenly asked me,” Lina, do you have any article about dealing with difficult people?” I just realized I never wrote about that. It was easy to write about good experiences in life. In my life I have lots of experiences dealing with people and most of the times I just wrote about the good one. I curiously asked my husband, “Why do you ask me about that? We have the book somewhere in our book shelf about Dealing with difficult person” He looked at me and smiled, “I think you have one article about it and I want to share to my friend” The only answer came out from my mind was,” If you can not deal with difficult person, deal with yourself first. Just accept and change the way we deal with that person. It is hard and takes time to apply in your life, but it works” It was so simple but also too hard to apply in life. Sharing this story it is not easy for me.
Read more

Suffering and tired

On that day, my mom said,  “  I want to take a shower ”  The fact is that she could no t sit properly anymore. It was not a joke. Some images came into my mind. There was a movie   “ Patch Adam ”  about a doctor who would do anything to make his patient happy. So I asked  my mom,  “  Do you really want to get a shower?  “  Instantly she said,  “  Yes. Is that difficult for you? ”  It was a big challenge. I said,  “ As you wish, mom. I will make it happen for you ” I prepared a wheelchair and covered it with plastic, then I asked my husband, my daughter and my assistant to help me lift my mom from her bed. We put her in the wheelchair then brought her to the bathroom. My daughter and I gave my mom a bath.  She was in pain but she had the biggest smile on her face that day. She was so happy after almost two months lying in her bed without getting a real shower.  I cried  …  I cried in my heart. I was so happy to see the hard work that we did. My mom can go anytime  …  but I am g
Read more

My Relationship with God

A simple grateful thought turned heavenwards is the most perfect prayer. Doris Lessing It was lunch time, I was about to put a spoon of spaghetti into my mouth, when I heard my friend asked me, “Lina have you prayed before eating?” I was almost choked. I said,” Yes I did” then the other question came, “When? I didn’t see you closed your eyes and prayed” I only can quote from Malcolm Boyd “By my definition, prayer is consciously hanging out with God. Being with God in a deliberate way. “ It is rare for me to put myself in a right prayer position which people used to do. I have my own way to express my love and my gratitude toward God. I am so sorry if I never kneel down on my knee to pray. It might irritate some people around me, as they know I am a Christian. They rarely see me praying in a right position which is standardized by believers. I am a very simple person and I have a very simple understanding about a relationship with God. I believe every breath I take; it is a pra
Read more

“Alone”

I have heard people in a bad relationship but they are still keeping their relationship together  … Why??? Sometimes we couldn ’ t understand why people chose to be suffering like that?  There is not right or wrong answer for this question.  Some of young ladies  … keeping their relationship actually not because they still want it … but they are afraid to be alone in this life!! Sometimes in life we have thousand of considerations before we make an important decision. And sadly sometimes it doesn ’ t make a happy ending.  One of the most important things in life is to understand the rules in reality.  It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.  Marilyn Monroe I think it is better if we could put this statement into our basic consideration before we make a decision whether we will stay or not in relationship.  We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the mom
Read more

I am still here for you

It was a regular day for me when one of my students told me a story. Here is the story :  There is a young mother who has a new born baby. She asked her mom to come from abroad to help her during the first months to take care of the baby. As a new mother, she lacked of sleeping time and she said to her mom, “ I am tired and it has been a month I’ve been lacking of sleep.“ The mother said, “ It is just a month. I am still here while you are more than 25 years old “  It is a truth and it is a fact that we might forget in life. We need our mothers not only to accompany us to be young ladies, but also to help us through the difficult time as young mothers. We might not have the same parenting style like our mothers, at least she is around to just be a mother, a friend or someone who comforts us.  Being a mother is a timeless work with no retirement.  Love your mother while she is still around you.  Jakarta, February 10, 2019 at 8AM
Read more

Hundred percent!!

One day, in a coffee shop  … I was about to pay my coffee. A waiter who often met me there asked me this questions,  “ Madam, do you like to do exercise? ” I asked him back,  “ Yes. Why do you ask me that question? ” He said,  “ You look young and pretty ” I said confidently,  “ I know I am pretty, even when no body says it … I will tell myself that I am pretty ” Someone behind me said,  “ Wow  … you are so confidence. People might not think you are pretty ” I said,  “ Can you really read what people thinks about you? If you cannot recognize your own mind, how come you are so sure about what they think about you? If that minds cannot help you to build your confidence, forget it. Yes we need to be confidence, and don ’ t let anyone turn you down. A confidence is hard to build and it might take years to build it. Start from today you have to tell yourself that you are beautiful ” People are worry about others ’ opinion, they never live their 100 percent capacity, and they ke
Read more

I am perfectly blessed in my imperfection

“Recognize that you are enough, and that all external gifts are simply extra blessings.” ―  Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life How do you describe that you are blessed? Sometimes in life, when I meet a very wealthy family, I wonder how much money they have, how big is their house, how many cars they have and hundreds of questions in my mind. I believe, once in a while those questions come into our minds. Who doesn ’ t want to be wealthy?   A young man came to my house to share his dream. He said, “ I want to be very wealthy in my life ” So I asked him, “ What definition of very wealthy? ” He mentioned some names in the top list of the wealthiest person in this country and in the world.   I could imagine what the wealthiest people have in their life and how their “ Balance sheet ” looks like. He mentioned one famous name and said, “ I want to be like him ”   The only thing I could say, “ It is a great dream, and y
Read more

Please keep doing it

It was June 1, 2011 Graduation day of class 2011 where I was there for my youngest daughter. The room was full with parents and teachers. My husband and I got a chance to give speech to represent parents. The ceremony started with all students came into the room; they looked so beautiful and handsome with national dress “Kebaya” and “Batik”.  The ceremony began with the national anthem and some other things. Then they introduced us. I hold my husband’s hand and we walked to the stage to deliver the speech.  I wrote the speech in English and Indonesian language. My husband read the English version and I did in Indonesian language   Standing on the stage, I remembered my wish in 2010 on graduation day for my eldest daughter.  I wished I could give a speech in front of my daughters. And a year later, my wish came true.  First lesson on that day for me was “I should always be positive and wish a good thing happen in my life” The day became more special actually
Read more