Wisdom-to-share

One day my friend Lucy Rodjito posted a picture of a lighthouse in her Facebook. It was beautiful scenery of a lighthouse which stood strong on the rock and visible with a clear sea background and blue sky. Right away it reminded me with my dad. One day my dad told me, "In your life I hope you will be like a lighthouse, you will be far away from the crowd; stand lonely by yourself, but you can lead people to reach the place safely" It was so easy to touch my heart and to bring me back to precious moments with my dad. In my life I think my dad not only gave me a name Lina which in Greek has a meaning “a light” but also he continuously told me what I should stand for in life. He wanted me to bring the spirit of light for everyone. He always said, “Find the meaning of your life and dedicate your life for that. You probably will walk alone in your life; you will hardly find good friends in your way. Don’t worry … keep going and you will grow stronger and stronger… you wil

Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. Albert Einstein One day I went to funeral house with my husband. It was unusual situation for me, because the room was decorated with purple color, in the corner of the room there was a band with four vocalists singing love song. It gave me an impression about saying goodbye with love to someone, that was a great idea and the songs actually make people facing the sadness with an easy feeling. It brought some idea for me about my funeral one day. I rushed to my husband and children. I said, “This is my will, when I die, please cremate me without the coffin, just put me on the top of the wood logs and just like Indian movie … it looks simple and easy” My husband and my children dropped their jaws. Especially my husband, he said,” Lina, it sounds so easy for you because you don’t know anything at that moment. We can not do it for you. Please consider your Bollywood cremation style. I think you watch too much Bollywood movie” It w

Wednesday is always my full day of teaching, but I can not help myself that I love to teach. It was Wednesday evening and I just jumped into my car. I barely hear music in the car, cause I was busy checking my emails and SMS. I got SMS from my brother who asked me to visit one of his friends to share and to give motivation. All of sudden my phone rang. I heard the old man voice, “Hallo Lina, Do you remember me?” I just answered,” Of course I remember you sir, we met at my parent’s house” His voice was so light and happy, “ O… you remember me, I am so happy to meet you and we had a chance to talk. Finally in my life I met someone like you. I am so happy and you are in my heart…. “The conversation was on and on for almost an hour. I met him on Sunday, when I was about to leave my parent’s house. A 76 years old man came to the house; he was looking for his long lost friend. He is my parent’s friend. My husband told me that he was a history teacher for 35 years. He has a very keen memo

A couple years ago I watched “The Bucket list” movie, the story about two men who did their bucket list before they died. They wrote down what they really wanted to do in their life before they died. That story inspired me to write down my own bucket list. Honestly I forgot where my list is now. It is probably somewhere in my drawer, it is hard for me to memorize it but at least I can always rewrite again and again before I die. The Bucket list movie came across my mind again when Bhavna asked the question at the end of Toastmaster meeting, “What is in the top of your bucket list?” At that moment I didn’t have time to open my rusty brain to recall my bucket list. So I answered the question spontaneously. The answer was, “I want to give a speech” Bhavna gave comment, “You can always give speeches” Yes it was probably not a special thing to do for a bucket list. I just remember when I was in the emergency room; I was in pain and suffer. My daughter told me,” Mom you can not be hospita

In College Station-Texas, it was a very hot day; my body refused to go outside. I stayed in the apartment. My daughters were busy with their laptop and I just watched them silently. Suddenly I was so sad; I only had a few days to stay there. I remembered my friend wrote to me, “Lina, this year you will have a total empty nest; both of your daughters will study abroad” That statement was just a reminder for me. The most important for me “how I have to face the total empty nest” I am just a human; I have worries in my minds as other people have. It has been many times I asked myself, “Are my babies okay there; do they eat right; do they sleep well… can they solve their problem? What should I do if they have problem while I am miles away from them?” Thousands of questions come from my worries. I knew that we could set our mind to be positive or negative. And it was our privilege to choose. I learnt that worries came into our mind because we allowed them to come into our mind and we let

It was a short Easter holiday; we were at Universal studio in Singapore. I was sitting when my husband took a picture, I was curious to see. I looked tired in that picture and I saw my wrinkles around my eyes. I looked around I saw my daughter, she is growing up now. I can not hold her with my both hand anymore, she is taller than me. I remember so clearly when the first time she went to Singapore she was six months old, so small and she was always in my embrace. Now she is going to be 18 years. The questions came into my mind, where have I been? Do I suddenly become old? The answer was in my mind. I was in that process but I passed it without my awareness. I was busy with daily life routine. From time to time, I didn't realize about myself, I was busy with my babies and served my family. Now I looked into myself I couldn't recognize myself. Sometimes I do hope to have time for myself, but my minds always drag me into my family. This is the reality we live as if we chase aft

Happiness can exist only in acceptance. George Orwell It has been 10 years ago, my last trip to the island of Gods, Bali. I couldn’t recall what happened during that time clearly but I could recall my first trip to Bali when I was five years old. I remembered when I played at the beach with my brother; I knew all stories about Tampak Siring and all the legend of temples in Bali. I fallen in love with Balinese dances and that was inspired me to let my daughters to learn Balinese dance since they were at the age of five. It seemed Bali has changed a lot during the past 10 years. I was amazed to see something that probably never changed in Balinese people’s life. They still love to pray, they still dedicate eighty percent of their time for praying and giving offerings to their Gods. They believe in karma and it leads their life from generation to generation. They accept good thing and bad thing as part of their karma. It was a very simple message from the island of Gods. Life is more

A simple grateful thought turned heavenwards is the most perfect prayer. Doris Lessing It was lunch time, I was about to put a spoon of spaghetti into my mouth, when I heard my friend asked me, “Lina have you prayed before eating?” I was almost choked. I said,” Yes I did” then the other question came, “When? I didn’t see you closed your eyes and prayed” I only can quote from Malcolm Boyd “By my definition, prayer is consciously hanging out with God. Being with God in a deliberate way. “ It is rare for me to put myself in a right prayer position which people used to do. I have my own way to express my love and my gratitude toward God. I am so sorry if I never kneel down on my knee to pray. It might irritate some people around me, as they know I am a Christian. They rarely see me praying in a right position which is standardized by believers. I am a very simple person and I have a very simple understanding about a relationship with God. I believe every breath I take; it is a pra

My dearest husband Jozef, It never crossed in my mind that I would say “Yes, I do” to you 20 years ago. We started our journey as a good friend. For me you are a simple person, you have a strong desire to achieve your dream. You are still the same man whom I have known more than 27 years ago. You have a big trust in my ability and you always give me opportunity to develop myself. You always give me room to improve myself. I am the talkative person and you are the calmest one. I am a very expressive person and you are an introvert person. People might say; we are like Yin and Yang, or in term of accounting “debit and credit”. In our daughters’ terminology, “Dad is a book smart and Mom is a street smart”. We proved to them that we are a good team for 20 years. I know the journey is not as simple as I write now. We argued many times, but we always had a great solution. Both of us are not a perfect person, but we always learn how to accept perfectly the imperfection in us. Your lov

I came back home early today and I saw my mom was busy taking care of her new kitchen renovation. I asked my mom whether she wanted to have lunch with me and she agreed, so I cooked for her and we enjoyed lunch together. During lunch she used to tell me all celebrities gossip or today news which she knew from the television. Sometimes I am too lazy to give any comment and I try so hard to connect with her topic on that day. My house is side by side with my mom’s house and there is a connecting door in between. I went to my house and I turned my TV on and I was looking for my favorite TV serial, my daughter was still at school taking her exam. Suddenly the house was so empty for me. Do I really ready for the empty nest? At that moment, I put myself on my mom’s shoes. Now, I understood how her feeling was; many times she has to be alone at home from morning to night and no one at home whom she could talk to. I will be as old as my mom one day, how come I can not bear with her topic so

The fact that I can plant a seed and it becomes a flower, share a bit of knowledge and it becomes another's, smile at someone and receive a smile in return, are to me continual spiritual exercises. Leo Buscaglia At the first time I met her, I knew that she has a wonderful personality. She has Javanese face and a very long hair. She used to work with me. The more I knew her, the more I like her simplicity in her life. When she became part of my management team, I had to mentor her to be the leader. She was worried because she was so young and inexperienced. I said,” Experience is about time. At the time you learn and walk through that phases and then you have the experiences. I started my journey from no body to be somebody. Don't make people underestimate you because of your age" Starting that day I spent most of my time with her just only talking about philosophy of life. We discussed from the wisdom of Tao Te Ching, Confucius, Hindu, Buddhist, Muslim and Christiani

It was Sunday morning and I was in the car with my husband on the way to visit our parents. I got a SMS, “Lina do you have time to talk? I need your help” It was not a 911 phone call of course, but I thought I had to give my time for my friend. I replied the SMS, “Sure you can call me now” On the other line, I heard my friend’s voice. He asked me about the school information. I gave him the information which I knew. He asked my opinion about sending his child to boarding school. I thought it should be a reason for that. The reasons were common things, the child had problem at school, the child needed to learn about responsibility, discipline and as parents they thought the best way to let other people teaching their child. I probably wear different glasses about parenting in common. I challenged my friend to think over again his decision about sending his child to a boarding school. We ended up with hours of discussion. The discussion was about what parents have to do if their chi

My husband loves to send me an article; he wants to make sure that at least I know something. On that day I got email from him and there was only one short sentence and the link. He wrote " ... Interesting, we don't really practice the Chinese Mothers’ style then …” I was curious about the article and I started to read the article. The article is about the Chinese mom parenting style compare to the western mom. According to the article, Chinese mom will not allow their kids to sleep over or party, joining the play at school, no computer game. The kids have to learn music, should be “A” student. It is probably right in general. I think I can describe the Chinese kids should be called as triple E, Excellent, Extra ordinary and maybe end up as Engineering. Considered I am a Chinese decent, and the statement from my husband that we are not doing as a Chinese mom. I replied his email. "Yes ... I am not following a Chinese mom’s style or western mom’s style, as I like Frank