My bucket list

A couple years ago I watched “The Bucket list” movie, the story about two men who did their bucket list before they died. They wrote down what they really wanted to do in their life before they died. That story inspired me to write down my own bucket list. Honestly I forgot where my list is now. It is probably somewhere in my drawer, it is hard for me to memorize it but at least I can always rewrite again and again before I die.
The Bucket list movie came across my mind again when Bhavna asked the question at the end of Toastmaster meeting, “What is in the top of your bucket list?” At that moment I didn’t have time to open my rusty brain to recall my bucket list. So I answered the question spontaneously. The answer was, “I want to give a speech” Bhavna gave comment, “You can always give speeches” Yes it was probably not a special thing to do for a bucket list. I just remember when I was in the emergency room; I was in pain and suffer. My daughter told me,” Mom you can not be hospitalized today, you need to give a speech on my graduation day. Have you prepared your speech?” That statement suddenly burned my spirit; I started to tell my daughters what my speech would be. The spirit pumped blood into my brain and I just forgot my pain. My daughters started to say, “Wow mom, you are getting better because you have to give a speech”
The doctor let me go home on that day; I requested my daughters “If one day I am in the hospital again, please tell me that I need to give a speech. I believe it will heal me soon” We laughed out loud at that moment.
It was really true in my life, I want to give a speech, not only before I die, but in my daily life. I just want to make sure that in my life I have passed the blessings in my life. I want to touch people’s heart and life through my writings and speeches. I want to tell people, it has been years and years for me to learn how to accept these:

I made thousand mistakes in my life, people might forget about it, but I still kept in my minds, I couldn’t accept my weakness and my mistakes in my life. I kept thinking my life would be perfect without doing those mistakes in the past. No body perfect in this world, I just need to accept myself. It took me many years to realize I am not living in the past anymore.

I found in my life I bumped into people who liked to blame me just because I was younger and inexperienced or took my credits for what I have done. I kept asking myself “Why they did that to me? … I deserved to get my credits, that was my creation, my idea” I bind my wound by putting the good seed in my mind, “ People can take my credits or they can always blame me but they can not really have what I have” They can only steal my credit but the ability is still in my mind. I don’t have to be angry but probably I just need feel sorry for them.

It took me almost 15 years to practice how to “let it go…” Letting go many things in life, I can enjoy every moment in the present. I practiced not to live in the past and not to chase the future. Life is simple and short. I just want to pass my life with meaningful.

It is never easy for me to do it with daily basis; it takes encouragement and motivation all the time. By sharing with others, I can always remind and encourage myself to keep practicing and moving forward.

If I have to answer again about my bucket list, I probably will have the same answer.

“When we are mindful, deeply in touch with the present moment, our understanding of what is going on deepens, and we begin to be filled with acceptance, joy, peace and love.”
― Thich Nhat Hanh


**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, October 8, 2011, at 6.53PM

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Table topic 1: Never… never give up

It was Tuesday; I used to come to Plaza Senayan for public speaking meeting there. Part of the public speaking is a table topic session. My friend Vina Tan leaded the session and she asked many questions which one of her question was “Never… never give up” I was about to answer that but I already had a role as General Evaluator, so it was better to give the chance to others. Anyway my mind kept thinking about the question and I really want to write the answer here in my blogs. Never… never give up! I like that statement a lot. Once in my life I was about to give up my project for Advance communicator Bronze in Toastmaster International. I thought I picked a wrong manual. I couldn’t find any idea to write about the project and I didn’t know how to finish the manual. I was about to change my manual with another manual. I looked back and fort the manual and I thought over and over again. Actually it was simple thing to decide, I could change the manual without any problem but something b
Read more

We love to love

Image
It was just regular day, but I had two special moments to celebrate. It was my 28 th wedding anniversay and my daughter ’ s birthday. I never expected something special, any gifts or anything. As a quote from Leo Buscagalia said,  “Love is always bestowed as a gift -freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved, we love to love.” Marriage is not an easy journey in life.  The fact that no all the people can have a long lasting marriage. I am probably still the lucky one  … Some people asked me,  “ How do you manage your marriage life ? ” Fawn Weaver said,  “ The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace. ” It is really important that we should have mutual respect, to give space for our spouse to be himself or herself. Respect that they have their own point of view. We can agree or disagree with that point of view, but we can always discuss it not as com
Read more

Dealing with difficult person with acceptance

Acceptance and tolerance and forgiveness, those are life-altering lessons. Jessica Lange On that evening my husband suddenly asked me,” Lina, do you have any article about dealing with difficult people?” I just realized I never wrote about that. It was easy to write about good experiences in life. In my life I have lots of experiences dealing with people and most of the times I just wrote about the good one. I curiously asked my husband, “Why do you ask me about that? We have the book somewhere in our book shelf about Dealing with difficult person” He looked at me and smiled, “I think you have one article about it and I want to share to my friend” The only answer came out from my mind was,” If you can not deal with difficult person, deal with yourself first. Just accept and change the way we deal with that person. It is hard and takes time to apply in your life, but it works” It was so simple but also too hard to apply in life. Sharing this story it is not easy for me.
Read more

Suffering and tired

On that day, my mom said,  “  I want to take a shower ”  The fact is that she could no t sit properly anymore. It was not a joke. Some images came into my mind. There was a movie   “ Patch Adam ”  about a doctor who would do anything to make his patient happy. So I asked  my mom,  “  Do you really want to get a shower?  “  Instantly she said,  “  Yes. Is that difficult for you? ”  It was a big challenge. I said,  “ As you wish, mom. I will make it happen for you ” I prepared a wheelchair and covered it with plastic, then I asked my husband, my daughter and my assistant to help me lift my mom from her bed. We put her in the wheelchair then brought her to the bathroom. My daughter and I gave my mom a bath.  She was in pain but she had the biggest smile on her face that day. She was so happy after almost two months lying in her bed without getting a real shower.  I cried  …  I cried in my heart. I was so happy to see the hard work that we did. My mom can go anytime  …  but I am g
Read more

My Relationship with God

A simple grateful thought turned heavenwards is the most perfect prayer. Doris Lessing It was lunch time, I was about to put a spoon of spaghetti into my mouth, when I heard my friend asked me, “Lina have you prayed before eating?” I was almost choked. I said,” Yes I did” then the other question came, “When? I didn’t see you closed your eyes and prayed” I only can quote from Malcolm Boyd “By my definition, prayer is consciously hanging out with God. Being with God in a deliberate way. “ It is rare for me to put myself in a right prayer position which people used to do. I have my own way to express my love and my gratitude toward God. I am so sorry if I never kneel down on my knee to pray. It might irritate some people around me, as they know I am a Christian. They rarely see me praying in a right position which is standardized by believers. I am a very simple person and I have a very simple understanding about a relationship with God. I believe every breath I take; it is a pra
Read more

“Alone”

I have heard people in a bad relationship but they are still keeping their relationship together  … Why??? Sometimes we couldn ’ t understand why people chose to be suffering like that?  There is not right or wrong answer for this question.  Some of young ladies  … keeping their relationship actually not because they still want it … but they are afraid to be alone in this life!! Sometimes in life we have thousand of considerations before we make an important decision. And sadly sometimes it doesn ’ t make a happy ending.  One of the most important things in life is to understand the rules in reality.  It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.  Marilyn Monroe I think it is better if we could put this statement into our basic consideration before we make a decision whether we will stay or not in relationship.  We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the mom
Read more

I am still here for you

It was a regular day for me when one of my students told me a story. Here is the story :  There is a young mother who has a new born baby. She asked her mom to come from abroad to help her during the first months to take care of the baby. As a new mother, she lacked of sleeping time and she said to her mom, “ I am tired and it has been a month I’ve been lacking of sleep.“ The mother said, “ It is just a month. I am still here while you are more than 25 years old “  It is a truth and it is a fact that we might forget in life. We need our mothers not only to accompany us to be young ladies, but also to help us through the difficult time as young mothers. We might not have the same parenting style like our mothers, at least she is around to just be a mother, a friend or someone who comforts us.  Being a mother is a timeless work with no retirement.  Love your mother while she is still around you.  Jakarta, February 10, 2019 at 8AM
Read more

Hundred percent!!

One day, in a coffee shop  … I was about to pay my coffee. A waiter who often met me there asked me this questions,  “ Madam, do you like to do exercise? ” I asked him back,  “ Yes. Why do you ask me that question? ” He said,  “ You look young and pretty ” I said confidently,  “ I know I am pretty, even when no body says it … I will tell myself that I am pretty ” Someone behind me said,  “ Wow  … you are so confidence. People might not think you are pretty ” I said,  “ Can you really read what people thinks about you? If you cannot recognize your own mind, how come you are so sure about what they think about you? If that minds cannot help you to build your confidence, forget it. Yes we need to be confidence, and don ’ t let anyone turn you down. A confidence is hard to build and it might take years to build it. Start from today you have to tell yourself that you are beautiful ” People are worry about others ’ opinion, they never live their 100 percent capacity, and they ke
Read more

I am perfectly blessed in my imperfection

“Recognize that you are enough, and that all external gifts are simply extra blessings.” ―  Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life How do you describe that you are blessed? Sometimes in life, when I meet a very wealthy family, I wonder how much money they have, how big is their house, how many cars they have and hundreds of questions in my mind. I believe, once in a while those questions come into our minds. Who doesn ’ t want to be wealthy?   A young man came to my house to share his dream. He said, “ I want to be very wealthy in my life ” So I asked him, “ What definition of very wealthy? ” He mentioned some names in the top list of the wealthiest person in this country and in the world.   I could imagine what the wealthiest people have in their life and how their “ Balance sheet ” looks like. He mentioned one famous name and said, “ I want to be like him ”   The only thing I could say, “ It is a great dream, and y
Read more

Please keep doing it

It was June 1, 2011 Graduation day of class 2011 where I was there for my youngest daughter. The room was full with parents and teachers. My husband and I got a chance to give speech to represent parents. The ceremony started with all students came into the room; they looked so beautiful and handsome with national dress “Kebaya” and “Batik”.  The ceremony began with the national anthem and some other things. Then they introduced us. I hold my husband’s hand and we walked to the stage to deliver the speech.  I wrote the speech in English and Indonesian language. My husband read the English version and I did in Indonesian language   Standing on the stage, I remembered my wish in 2010 on graduation day for my eldest daughter.  I wished I could give a speech in front of my daughters. And a year later, my wish came true.  First lesson on that day for me was “I should always be positive and wish a good thing happen in my life” The day became more special actually
Read more