The Frank Sinatra’s style: “MY WAY”
My husband loves to send me an article; he wants to make sure that at least I know something. On that day I got email from him and there was only one short sentence and the link. He wrote " ... Interesting, we don't really practice the Chinese Mothers’ style then …” I was curious about the article and I started to read the article. The article is about the Chinese mom parenting style compare to the western mom.
According to the article, Chinese mom will not allow their kids to sleep over or party, joining the play at school, no computer game. The kids have to learn music, should be “A” student. It is probably right in general. I think I can describe the Chinese kids should be called as triple E, Excellent, Extra ordinary and maybe end up as Engineering.
Considered I am a Chinese decent, and the statement from my husband that we are not doing as a Chinese mom. I replied his email. "Yes ... I am not following a Chinese mom’s style or western mom’s style, as I like Frank Sinatra song My way ... I like to say I am Frank Sinatra mom’s style ... I did it my way."
I have to thanks my mom and dad who raised me with a great love. My parents focused on my responsibility more than my grades at school. They said,” You can always improve yourself"; it became my motto at school "next time should be better". Every time I didn't make a good grade, I told myself,” I can improve ... Next time should be better than today" I remember my dad never asked me to be “A” student; he always gave awards at the end of school year. Instead of being angry when I had a bad grade, he preferred to buy me more books. My parents always trusted me at school and I think that experience make me always love to learn, because I always know that I can improve myself through the learning process. My dad ever said to me, “I never went to school as you do right now. I don’t know how good I am if I am in your shoes. You can go to school it means you are better than me, you just need to use this opportunity that no body always has.” My dad was an autodidact person, once he knew the alphabets he learned to read all books. Knowledge is the best treasure for my dad and my mom. Knowledge is the light for the mind and soul. Based on that I didn’t want to make my dad upset with me. I took all the responsibilities and the learning process to make myself as a better person.
I shared this to my husband, in my parenting style I look at how my children take their responsibility in their life more than the result itself. I think that is the strong and great foundation for my children. I want them to enjoy the learning process in school and in life as well. Yes indeed my children don't have computer game, because I think life is a big game field. They needed to learn piano as part of practicing their concentration and coordination. One day they wanted to quit piano and I said yes for them. The purpose of learning music is only to make them learn how to practice concentration and to use music to release their emotions. I love to see them in any play at school to build their self esteem and they were really enjoying it.
I told my children that I am not a perfect mom, but I will always try to be the better mom for them. I have no experience to be a mom. One big lesson that I learnt in my life I am raising a human, a person that totally different than me. I should put love and appreciation in the right place and time. They need to know they are special and unique children. If no body is perfect, and we are also not a perfect person, why we have to ask our children to be a perfect person according to our standard. I think that is unfair situation for the children.
I always think I don’t want to judge my children with their grade at school, because it didn’t represent my children at all. I told my children, they are better than me, if I were in their shoes; I probably could not achieve their standard too. I just want them to use their maximum abilities in life. As the result they always do their best and they make me as a very proud mom.
There is never a perfect style of parenting in this world. No perfect formula to be a good mom, because each child is unique and special. Children are different and they need different way of parenting. The only thing for sure if you are parents at least you know
1. Children spell “LOVE” as “TIME”; share your time if you love them
2. A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving
3. Stop trying to perfect your child, but keep trying to perfect your relationship with him. -Henker
One day, I was happy when my daughter wrote an essay; “I am a spoil child, not because I have everything that I want, but because my mom always showers me with love” I am right… My parenting style is a Frank Sinatra’s style “My Way”
Jakarta, 30 January 2011
**Lina Kartasasmita** at 10.44PM
According to the article, Chinese mom will not allow their kids to sleep over or party, joining the play at school, no computer game. The kids have to learn music, should be “A” student. It is probably right in general. I think I can describe the Chinese kids should be called as triple E, Excellent, Extra ordinary and maybe end up as Engineering.
Considered I am a Chinese decent, and the statement from my husband that we are not doing as a Chinese mom. I replied his email. "Yes ... I am not following a Chinese mom’s style or western mom’s style, as I like Frank Sinatra song My way ... I like to say I am Frank Sinatra mom’s style ... I did it my way."
I have to thanks my mom and dad who raised me with a great love. My parents focused on my responsibility more than my grades at school. They said,” You can always improve yourself"; it became my motto at school "next time should be better". Every time I didn't make a good grade, I told myself,” I can improve ... Next time should be better than today" I remember my dad never asked me to be “A” student; he always gave awards at the end of school year. Instead of being angry when I had a bad grade, he preferred to buy me more books. My parents always trusted me at school and I think that experience make me always love to learn, because I always know that I can improve myself through the learning process. My dad ever said to me, “I never went to school as you do right now. I don’t know how good I am if I am in your shoes. You can go to school it means you are better than me, you just need to use this opportunity that no body always has.” My dad was an autodidact person, once he knew the alphabets he learned to read all books. Knowledge is the best treasure for my dad and my mom. Knowledge is the light for the mind and soul. Based on that I didn’t want to make my dad upset with me. I took all the responsibilities and the learning process to make myself as a better person.
I shared this to my husband, in my parenting style I look at how my children take their responsibility in their life more than the result itself. I think that is the strong and great foundation for my children. I want them to enjoy the learning process in school and in life as well. Yes indeed my children don't have computer game, because I think life is a big game field. They needed to learn piano as part of practicing their concentration and coordination. One day they wanted to quit piano and I said yes for them. The purpose of learning music is only to make them learn how to practice concentration and to use music to release their emotions. I love to see them in any play at school to build their self esteem and they were really enjoying it.
I told my children that I am not a perfect mom, but I will always try to be the better mom for them. I have no experience to be a mom. One big lesson that I learnt in my life I am raising a human, a person that totally different than me. I should put love and appreciation in the right place and time. They need to know they are special and unique children. If no body is perfect, and we are also not a perfect person, why we have to ask our children to be a perfect person according to our standard. I think that is unfair situation for the children.
I always think I don’t want to judge my children with their grade at school, because it didn’t represent my children at all. I told my children, they are better than me, if I were in their shoes; I probably could not achieve their standard too. I just want them to use their maximum abilities in life. As the result they always do their best and they make me as a very proud mom.
There is never a perfect style of parenting in this world. No perfect formula to be a good mom, because each child is unique and special. Children are different and they need different way of parenting. The only thing for sure if you are parents at least you know
1. Children spell “LOVE” as “TIME”; share your time if you love them
2. A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving
3. Stop trying to perfect your child, but keep trying to perfect your relationship with him. -Henker
One day, I was happy when my daughter wrote an essay; “I am a spoil child, not because I have everything that I want, but because my mom always showers me with love” I am right… My parenting style is a Frank Sinatra’s style “My Way”
Jakarta, 30 January 2011
**Lina Kartasasmita** at 10.44PM
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