Our life is short

“One day spent with someone you love can change everything.”
― Mitch Albom, For One More Day


It was Thursday afternoon couple months ago, when I was about to accompany my mother to see her doctor; it was her regular checked up. I saw something different in the way she walked and the way she spoke, something crossed in my mind, she got stroke. However she denied the condition, she tried so hard to walk and speak properly.  We went to see the doctor; she seemed okay in front of the doctor.  Base on her age I was worried something happened. My minds wondered ... Along that night I couldn’t sleep well. I decided to tell myself, if something bad happened … I would let her go.

The next day, I went to teach and I still said, “Mom are you okay? Please take a rest during the day. No body will be at home and please be careful” Only God knew what was in my mind.  In the afternoon I got the message from my sister in law who came from Bandung, she texted me saying, “ Something wrong with mom, please bring her to see the doctor” I was shaking in the car and I called my doctors.

My mother was sitting when I came home, and she refused to see the doctor. With my teary eyes I kneel down and said, “ If you love me, please go with me to the hospital. All the doctors are waiting for you “ She looked at me and said, “ No, tomorrow I need to pray for your father “ I said, “ I will let you pray for my father if you are healthy” Finally she agreed to go with me. I would like to thank you Dr. Budi and Dr. Veronica at the hospital near my house, because they was really care about my concern. I came to the emergency room, both doctors were there and they were ready for my mother. Before they touch my mother I already told them, “Please do your best to find out. I think she needs the MRI” Since my mother got the stroke, she has to hospitalize to get the best treatment. She refused to stay so I needed to call all my brothers to talk with her. At the end she was agreed to hospitalize on that day.

I accompanied her staying over night at the hospital. I looked her face while she was sleeping.  I talked to myself, “ Mom, I realize that life is short, I should be ready that one day you will leave me alone. I just want to let you know that I will let you go in peace. I will never regret anything in my life. I am not a great daughter, I did many mistakes, I hurt you many times but I hope you forgive me. You probably knew that I tried so hard to be a better person. I will not promise you anything else mom, I just will continue to walk with you ”

In four days my mother returned back home, I saw she struggled to rebuild her health. I was so proud of her spirit and that would always be my prayer to God. “God I know every one in the world will gradually weaken and weaken.  Please teach me to accept that the time is limited, the body has limited ability … everything will vanish at the end of the journey.  Please teach me to cherish the time I have with the people I love and to be grateful for every blessings in life. Please don’t let me just promising to do something, but give me the ability to do it … so one day I will never regret“

My mother is gradually getting better with her health. I think we have to accept that our lifetime is limited and we should use our time wisely.

“Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.”
― William Penn



**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta July 11, 2014 at 10.48PM

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