A dad without LOVE


Mahatma Gandhi said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”

I should write this article two or three years ago, however I never forget the story but I didn't really spend time to write this. Two days ago I had a conversation with young man, he shared me a story and it reminded me to write this article. Here is the story:

His name is Jeff; I met him a couple years ago in the bakery where I used to buy bread for my family. The first time I met him, he asked me many question about the hospitality of his staffs and their service. I loved to give him inputs for his team. He was so happy and he recognized me as one regular customer. Jeff treated all his customers very well. It was easy to recognize him as the man with a big smile

One day I visited the shop and Jeff wasn't there. One of his staffs told me that Jeff’s father passed away so he couldn't come. I sent him my deep condolence message. Two days later he called me and he thanked me for my message.  I mentioned that I also thanked him for sending SMS on my husband’s birthday.  He said that he knew my husband’s birthday because my daughters bought a cake for their dad. Then he continued telling about his dad. He said, “I hated my dad for always hitting my mom and me; he didn't allow me to go to school. My dad was an alcoholic. I had to work by myself to pay for my tuition” His voice was so deep and sad. I could imagine how painful his life was.  I said to him, “Jeff, you should be proud of yourself. Look at you; you are a very nice person”
Jeff continued, “Yes, at the end I thanked my dad for giving me a hard time. I learnt in a hard way to find myself. I don’t want to be like him. My dad has a miserable life and he never realized that. He made his family suffer. Looking back to my dad’s life, I finally forgave him”

It was such an amazing story that I heard. Jeff made a clear decision in his life. He wanted to be a better person; he continued his life with positive attitude. He said, “The hospitality is important, we should have it in our heart and it will work outside us to change ourselves to be a better person” I saluted him for his great attitude.

Jeff could forgive his dad; it is not something easy to do.  He mentioned to me, “I always love to see your family. I could see how your husband loves his children. Something that I don’t have in my life”

I said to Jeff.” You didn't have the love from your dad but you become a good dad for your children, you never got support from your dad but you are a very supportive dad for your children. At the end of your miserable and hard life, you become a winner. You chose to be a winner. You forgave your dad and you have a wonderful personality to be proud of”

A parent should love their children, so the children will grow up without missing “Love”. Jeff is a rare example person who could change his bitterness to be a sweet ending.

Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved.
William Jennings Bryan


**Lina Kartasasmita**Jakarta, 29 November 2012 at 7 PM

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