Welcome 2020

It has been months that I didn’t write for my blogs. One day my friend sent me a message, “Lina, when will you write again in your blogs?”
He didn’t know that my life has changed a lot. I had many things to do back in 2019.  A trip to Europe for my daughter’s graduation, my daughter’s wedding preparation and then my mom got liver cancer. It was good thing and bad thing happened in the same time.  I told myself, “ It is well with my soul … I just need to be focus “

Duke Ellington said, “ A problem is a chance for you to do your best “ and I tried to do it. It is not easy at all, but it is true that each problem in life will give us a chance to do our best. We can learn how to handle our emotion better than before. I learn more from life …

Especially I have to take care of my mom, and she was in pain and she didn’t want to be served. I learned to serve her better and I learned to understand her emotional to face the cancer. When my mom decided to take palliative treatment, people judged me as if I didn’t want to fight for her cancer. My mom has her own point of view at the age of 85; she knows what she really want at the end of her journey as human being.  I do respect what her wish is. 

Welcome 2020, I don’t ask the year will be without problem, I wish “All is well with my soul” Happy new year everyone. 

"Happiness is a quality of the soul...not a function of one's material circumstances." –Aristotle

**Lina Kartasasmita**
Jakarta, Jan 4, 2020 at 4.54 PM 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Table topic 1: Never… never give up

It was Tuesday; I used to come to Plaza Senayan for public speaking meeting there. Part of the public speaking is a table topic session. My friend Vina Tan leaded the session and she asked many questions which one of her question was “Never… never give up” I was about to answer that but I already had a role as General Evaluator, so it was better to give the chance to others. Anyway my mind kept thinking about the question and I really want to write the answer here in my blogs. Never… never give up! I like that statement a lot. Once in my life I was about to give up my project for Advance communicator Bronze in Toastmaster International. I thought I picked a wrong manual. I couldn’t find any idea to write about the project and I didn’t know how to finish the manual. I was about to change my manual with another manual. I looked back and fort the manual and I thought over and over again. Actually it was simple thing to decide, I could change the manual without any problem but something b...
Read more

We love to love

Image
It was just regular day, but I had two special moments to celebrate. It was my 28 th wedding anniversay and my daughter ’ s birthday. I never expected something special, any gifts or anything. As a quote from Leo Buscagalia said,  “Love is always bestowed as a gift -freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved, we love to love.” Marriage is not an easy journey in life.  The fact that no all the people can have a long lasting marriage. I am probably still the lucky one  … Some people asked me,  “ How do you manage your marriage life ? ” Fawn Weaver said,  “ The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace. ” It is really important that we should have mutual respect, to give space for our spouse to be himself or herself. Respect that they have their own point of view. We can agree or disagree with that point of view, but w...
Read more

Dealing with difficult person with acceptance

Acceptance and tolerance and forgiveness, those are life-altering lessons. Jessica Lange On that evening my husband suddenly asked me,” Lina, do you have any article about dealing with difficult people?” I just realized I never wrote about that. It was easy to write about good experiences in life. In my life I have lots of experiences dealing with people and most of the times I just wrote about the good one. I curiously asked my husband, “Why do you ask me about that? We have the book somewhere in our book shelf about Dealing with difficult person” He looked at me and smiled, “I think you have one article about it and I want to share to my friend” The only answer came out from my mind was,” If you can not deal with difficult person, deal with yourself first. Just accept and change the way we deal with that person. It is hard and takes time to apply in your life, but it works” It was so simple but also too hard to apply in life. Sharing this story it is not easy for me. ...
Read more

Suffering and tired

On that day, my mom said,  “  I want to take a shower ”  The fact is that she could no t sit properly anymore. It was not a joke. Some images came into my mind. There was a movie   “ Patch Adam ”  about a doctor who would do anything to make his patient happy. So I asked  my mom,  “  Do you really want to get a shower?  “  Instantly she said,  “  Yes. Is that difficult for you? ”  It was a big challenge. I said,  “ As you wish, mom. I will make it happen for you ” I prepared a wheelchair and covered it with plastic, then I asked my husband, my daughter and my assistant to help me lift my mom from her bed. We put her in the wheelchair then brought her to the bathroom. My daughter and I gave my mom a bath.  She was in pain but she had the biggest smile on her face that day. She was so happy after almost two months lying in her bed without getting a real shower.  I cried  …  I cried...
Read more

My Relationship with God

A simple grateful thought turned heavenwards is the most perfect prayer. Doris Lessing It was lunch time, I was about to put a spoon of spaghetti into my mouth, when I heard my friend asked me, “Lina have you prayed before eating?” I was almost choked. I said,” Yes I did” then the other question came, “When? I didn’t see you closed your eyes and prayed” I only can quote from Malcolm Boyd “By my definition, prayer is consciously hanging out with God. Being with God in a deliberate way. “ It is rare for me to put myself in a right prayer position which people used to do. I have my own way to express my love and my gratitude toward God. I am so sorry if I never kneel down on my knee to pray. It might irritate some people around me, as they know I am a Christian. They rarely see me praying in a right position which is standardized by believers. I am a very simple person and I have a very simple understanding about a relationship with God. I believe every breath I take; it is a pra...
Read more

I am still here for you

It was a regular day for me when one of my students told me a story. Here is the story :  There is a young mother who has a new born baby. She asked her mom to come from abroad to help her during the first months to take care of the baby. As a new mother, she lacked of sleeping time and she said to her mom, “ I am tired and it has been a month I’ve been lacking of sleep.“ The mother said, “ It is just a month. I am still here while you are more than 25 years old “  It is a truth and it is a fact that we might forget in life. We need our mothers not only to accompany us to be young ladies, but also to help us through the difficult time as young mothers. We might not have the same parenting style like our mothers, at least she is around to just be a mother, a friend or someone who comforts us.  Being a mother is a timeless work with no retirement.  Love your mother while she is still around you.  Jakarta, February 10, 2019 at 8AM
Read more

“Alone”

I have heard people in a bad relationship but they are still keeping their relationship together  … Why??? Sometimes we couldn ’ t understand why people chose to be suffering like that?  There is not right or wrong answer for this question.  Some of young ladies  … keeping their relationship actually not because they still want it … but they are afraid to be alone in this life!! Sometimes in life we have thousand of considerations before we make an important decision. And sadly sometimes it doesn ’ t make a happy ending.  One of the most important things in life is to understand the rules in reality.  It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.  Marilyn Monroe I think it is better if we could put this statement into our basic consideration before we make a decision whether we will stay or not in relationship.  We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we ...
Read more

Hundred percent!!

One day, in a coffee shop  … I was about to pay my coffee. A waiter who often met me there asked me this questions,  “ Madam, do you like to do exercise? ” I asked him back,  “ Yes. Why do you ask me that question? ” He said,  “ You look young and pretty ” I said confidently,  “ I know I am pretty, even when no body says it … I will tell myself that I am pretty ” Someone behind me said,  “ Wow  … you are so confidence. People might not think you are pretty ” I said,  “ Can you really read what people thinks about you? If you cannot recognize your own mind, how come you are so sure about what they think about you? If that minds cannot help you to build your confidence, forget it. Yes we need to be confidence, and don ’ t let anyone turn you down. A confidence is hard to build and it might take years to build it. Start from today you have to tell yourself that you are beautiful ” People are worry about others ’ opinion, they never live ...
Read more

I am perfectly blessed in my imperfection

“Recognize that you are enough, and that all external gifts are simply extra blessings.” ―  Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life How do you describe that you are blessed? Sometimes in life, when I meet a very wealthy family, I wonder how much money they have, how big is their house, how many cars they have and hundreds of questions in my mind. I believe, once in a while those questions come into our minds. Who doesn ’ t want to be wealthy?   A young man came to my house to share his dream. He said, “ I want to be very wealthy in my life ” So I asked him, “ What definition of very wealthy? ” He mentioned some names in the top list of the wealthiest person in this country and in the world.   I could imagine what the wealthiest people have in their life and how their “ Balance sheet ” looks like. He mentioned one famous name and said, “ I want to be like him ”   The only thing I could say, “ It is a...
Read more

Only 30 years

Notes: this is my speech in front of (and for) a young generation   I was 25 years old, a fresh graduate from college, and I thought I could find the job that I wanted. But once I applied for a job, they asked me, “How long have you worked?” “I am a fresh graduate from college,” like a warm bread fresh from the oven. They turned me down by saying, “Sorry we need people with experiences.” Experiences are important, as much as education. So I started to build my certification collection. Now, I have more than 40 certifications and over 35 years of teaching experience. However, when I apply for a job now, they tell me, “Sorry you are overqualified and we can not pay you.“ What?! It is unfair! Yes, life is unfair. When I was young and had no experience they didn’t want to hire me. When I am older and more experienced, they don’t want to pay me.   If you start working at the age of 25, you have to retire at the age of 55.   Life only gives you 30 years to have the right time a...
Read more