Never give up on each other

I have been waiting to have this time to sit and to write a note for my 24th wedding anniversary. This quote came into my mind

“A perfect marriage is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other”

That was actually what we had been through at the first five years of our marriage. Both of us totally imperfect people who thought we were perfectly glued by the love we have. When two people promised to share their life together, it was never easy to do. We started the adjustment by daily basis, from the simple actions such as where to put the towel or the taste of the food we had.  It could create the problems from simple one to the most complicated one. It created a burden in my heart, so I told my husband, “Maybe it is better for you to find someone who is perfect for you”
He said, “I don’t want to give up on you, I tried to manage our long distance relationship for 7 years and we did, I can find someone else to be with, but there is no guarantee I will not have problem. I might not have the same problem that I have with you, but for sure I will have different problem with that person. I still believe you are the right person for me, so I don’t want to give up”

I was glad he never gave up on our relationship. It took a lot of sacrifices to understand each other, to accept the good and bad of our personality, and to adjust our expectation to the reality of marriage. Love is one of the elements to glue our marriage, but on the top of that is the strong commitment and the vision we have to build the happy family.  Our commitment is not to give up on each other.


Love is not a feeling, nor an emotion; but it is a commitment. Anniversaries remind you the day that you commit yourself many days and years ago. Jazzian Ortega

Happy 24th wedding anniversary to my husband and my best friend, thank you that we never give up on each other.

**Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, July 17, 2015 at 9.39PM
 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Table topic 1: Never… never give up

It was Tuesday; I used to come to Plaza Senayan for public speaking meeting there. Part of the public speaking is a table topic session. My friend Vina Tan leaded the session and she asked many questions which one of her question was “Never… never give up” I was about to answer that but I already had a role as General Evaluator, so it was better to give the chance to others. Anyway my mind kept thinking about the question and I really want to write the answer here in my blogs. Never… never give up! I like that statement a lot. Once in my life I was about to give up my project for Advance communicator Bronze in Toastmaster International. I thought I picked a wrong manual. I couldn’t find any idea to write about the project and I didn’t know how to finish the manual. I was about to change my manual with another manual. I looked back and fort the manual and I thought over and over again. Actually it was simple thing to decide, I could change the manual without any problem but something b...
Read more

We love to love

Image
It was just regular day, but I had two special moments to celebrate. It was my 28 th wedding anniversay and my daughter ’ s birthday. I never expected something special, any gifts or anything. As a quote from Leo Buscagalia said,  “Love is always bestowed as a gift -freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved, we love to love.” Marriage is not an easy journey in life.  The fact that no all the people can have a long lasting marriage. I am probably still the lucky one  … Some people asked me,  “ How do you manage your marriage life ? ” Fawn Weaver said,  “ The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace. ” It is really important that we should have mutual respect, to give space for our spouse to be himself or herself. Respect that they have their own point of view. We can agree or disagree with that point of view, but w...
Read more

Dealing with difficult person with acceptance

Acceptance and tolerance and forgiveness, those are life-altering lessons. Jessica Lange On that evening my husband suddenly asked me,” Lina, do you have any article about dealing with difficult people?” I just realized I never wrote about that. It was easy to write about good experiences in life. In my life I have lots of experiences dealing with people and most of the times I just wrote about the good one. I curiously asked my husband, “Why do you ask me about that? We have the book somewhere in our book shelf about Dealing with difficult person” He looked at me and smiled, “I think you have one article about it and I want to share to my friend” The only answer came out from my mind was,” If you can not deal with difficult person, deal with yourself first. Just accept and change the way we deal with that person. It is hard and takes time to apply in your life, but it works” It was so simple but also too hard to apply in life. Sharing this story it is not easy for me. ...
Read more

Suffering and tired

On that day, my mom said,  “  I want to take a shower ”  The fact is that she could no t sit properly anymore. It was not a joke. Some images came into my mind. There was a movie   “ Patch Adam ”  about a doctor who would do anything to make his patient happy. So I asked  my mom,  “  Do you really want to get a shower?  “  Instantly she said,  “  Yes. Is that difficult for you? ”  It was a big challenge. I said,  “ As you wish, mom. I will make it happen for you ” I prepared a wheelchair and covered it with plastic, then I asked my husband, my daughter and my assistant to help me lift my mom from her bed. We put her in the wheelchair then brought her to the bathroom. My daughter and I gave my mom a bath.  She was in pain but she had the biggest smile on her face that day. She was so happy after almost two months lying in her bed without getting a real shower.  I cried  …  I cried...
Read more

My Relationship with God

A simple grateful thought turned heavenwards is the most perfect prayer. Doris Lessing It was lunch time, I was about to put a spoon of spaghetti into my mouth, when I heard my friend asked me, “Lina have you prayed before eating?” I was almost choked. I said,” Yes I did” then the other question came, “When? I didn’t see you closed your eyes and prayed” I only can quote from Malcolm Boyd “By my definition, prayer is consciously hanging out with God. Being with God in a deliberate way. “ It is rare for me to put myself in a right prayer position which people used to do. I have my own way to express my love and my gratitude toward God. I am so sorry if I never kneel down on my knee to pray. It might irritate some people around me, as they know I am a Christian. They rarely see me praying in a right position which is standardized by believers. I am a very simple person and I have a very simple understanding about a relationship with God. I believe every breath I take; it is a pra...
Read more

“Alone”

I have heard people in a bad relationship but they are still keeping their relationship together  … Why??? Sometimes we couldn ’ t understand why people chose to be suffering like that?  There is not right or wrong answer for this question.  Some of young ladies  … keeping their relationship actually not because they still want it … but they are afraid to be alone in this life!! Sometimes in life we have thousand of considerations before we make an important decision. And sadly sometimes it doesn ’ t make a happy ending.  One of the most important things in life is to understand the rules in reality.  It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.  Marilyn Monroe I think it is better if we could put this statement into our basic consideration before we make a decision whether we will stay or not in relationship.  We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we ...
Read more

Hundred percent!!

One day, in a coffee shop  … I was about to pay my coffee. A waiter who often met me there asked me this questions,  “ Madam, do you like to do exercise? ” I asked him back,  “ Yes. Why do you ask me that question? ” He said,  “ You look young and pretty ” I said confidently,  “ I know I am pretty, even when no body says it … I will tell myself that I am pretty ” Someone behind me said,  “ Wow  … you are so confidence. People might not think you are pretty ” I said,  “ Can you really read what people thinks about you? If you cannot recognize your own mind, how come you are so sure about what they think about you? If that minds cannot help you to build your confidence, forget it. Yes we need to be confidence, and don ’ t let anyone turn you down. A confidence is hard to build and it might take years to build it. Start from today you have to tell yourself that you are beautiful ” People are worry about others ’ opinion, they never live ...
Read more

I am still here for you

It was a regular day for me when one of my students told me a story. Here is the story :  There is a young mother who has a new born baby. She asked her mom to come from abroad to help her during the first months to take care of the baby. As a new mother, she lacked of sleeping time and she said to her mom, “ I am tired and it has been a month I’ve been lacking of sleep.“ The mother said, “ It is just a month. I am still here while you are more than 25 years old “  It is a truth and it is a fact that we might forget in life. We need our mothers not only to accompany us to be young ladies, but also to help us through the difficult time as young mothers. We might not have the same parenting style like our mothers, at least she is around to just be a mother, a friend or someone who comforts us.  Being a mother is a timeless work with no retirement.  Love your mother while she is still around you.  Jakarta, February 10, 2019 at 8AM
Read more

My name is Lina and I am just a simple person

It is totally hard for me when one of my best friends said to me,”Lina you have a potential to be a bad person with all you have, you have confidence, you are a risk taker, and you are brave…” I was shocked to hear that. What is wrong to have a great confidence? What is wrong if I am brave enough to take a risk? Then the next question was, “Do you think you can be like someone like that?” I couldn’t answer it spontaneously. I answered that question,” I don’t think so; I had a father who raise me with a great value of life and he taught me well. And I have a wonderful mom who kept that value in me” My father came from a poor family; he had no chance to go to school. My mom just graduated from elementary school. For my parent the entire world is their classroom. They learned from their experiences, from no one to become someone. From mistakes to mistakes they built their character, their value of life, their world of wisdom. They made mistakes many times in their life but they kept them...
Read more

I am perfectly blessed in my imperfection

“Recognize that you are enough, and that all external gifts are simply extra blessings.” ―  Bryant McGill, Simple Reminders: Inspiration for Living Your Best Life How do you describe that you are blessed? Sometimes in life, when I meet a very wealthy family, I wonder how much money they have, how big is their house, how many cars they have and hundreds of questions in my mind. I believe, once in a while those questions come into our minds. Who doesn ’ t want to be wealthy?   A young man came to my house to share his dream. He said, “ I want to be very wealthy in my life ” So I asked him, “ What definition of very wealthy? ” He mentioned some names in the top list of the wealthiest person in this country and in the world.   I could imagine what the wealthiest people have in their life and how their “ Balance sheet ” looks like. He mentioned one famous name and said, “ I want to be like him ”   The only thing I could say, “ It is a...
Read more