Garbage collector

The title of this article came into my mind while I was standing in the middle of buildings in one area of factory outlet in San Marcos, Texas. It was the second times I drove from Austin to San Marcos, because my mom loved to go around the shops. I looked around the branded stuff and I was tempted to buy something. There was a battle in my mind every time my hand grabbed something, there was always a question, “Do I need to buy it or just nice to have it?”

I hope I don’t need any more battles in my mind about shopping. There is no denying situation; I used to be the person who loves to collect good stuff. I have a collection of small things but now all my collection was sitting dusty in the cupboard. I remembered spending so much time to find my collection and I adored them so much when I got it. Then time goes by … The excitement was gone. Sometimes I look at my collection and brought the memories back into my mind… I remembered I spent so much time walking from shop to shop, I didn’t care what my mom and my dad felt at that moment. They seemed happy to see my happiness to fill my ego. Maybe at that age, I thought my happiness equals to how many collection I had.

 One day I read “Mother Teresa’s book” and I was amazed how come she lived with only two clothes. And I found her statement that “We are not living base on our needs but more into our desire” We only need two pair of shoes but we have more than dozen pairs of shoes. After reading the book, I meditated and looked around my house. I saw all my collection turned into garbage, because I never really needed them in my life. I unconsciously turned into a Garbage collector. At the end of my life we have nothing.

Finally I decided to learn as John Stuart Mill quotation. “I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them.” Anyway it was hard to keep away my desire to have something good or any cute collection. It is not easy but it is possible. I started to increase my desire to share the love instead of the desire of collecting stuff. I find by sharing the love I have thousands of stories and memories in my mind and it becomes my collection now.

 Thanks, God. HE allowed me to learn, HE blessed me in many ways but HE didn’t give me the opportunity to spend more money and to be a garbage collector in life. HE touched my heart to see every thing in life will vanish. In the middle of the store I kept saying to myself, “Stop being a garbage collector” And I called my collection now as “Desires collection” In life I see the desires become a strong temptation and motivation. It is my choice to keep the right desires in life so I can collect precious things in life. “Dear God, please stop me to be a garbage collector. Give me a strong desire to share the love”
 **Lina Kartasasmita** Jakarta, May 9, 2012 at 11.22PM

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