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Only 30 years

Notes: this is my speech in front of (and for) a young generation   I was 25 years old, a fresh graduate from college, and I thought I could find the job that I wanted. But once I applied for a job, they asked me, “How long have you worked?” “I am a fresh graduate from college,” like a warm bread fresh from the oven. They turned me down by saying, “Sorry we need people with experiences.” Experiences are important, as much as education. So I started to build my certification collection. Now, I have more than 40 certifications and over 35 years of teaching experience. However, when I apply for a job now, they tell me, “Sorry you are overqualified and we can not pay you.“ What?! It is unfair! Yes, life is unfair. When I was young and had no experience they didn’t want to hire me. When I am older and more experienced, they don’t want to pay me.   If you start working at the age of 25, you have to retire at the age of 55.   Life only gives you 30 years to have the right time and value to ac
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I miss you, Mom

It had been more than 18 months since you got sick. In time, you couldn ’ t do much. Cancer stole your capability. Seeing you in that condition was so hard for me. Spending time to serve you daily was a privilege for me. I was extremely tired but also satisfied.    Mom, you passed all the stages, from the initial anger to the final acceptance of your condition. I learned a lot from you and your life. How you forgave everyone and told me to live my life. You didn ’ t want me to cry. It was not easy to do but I tried.   On February 27,2021 you passed away, but sometimes I still wake up at night and think that I need to check on you. Only to realize you are no longer there.    I miss you Mom and I love you.    Jakarta, 21 August 2021, 6.09 PM                                                                 Lina Kartasasmita  
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Suffering and tired

On that day, my mom said,  “  I want to take a shower ”  The fact is that she could no t sit properly anymore. It was not a joke. Some images came into my mind. There was a movie   “ Patch Adam ”  about a doctor who would do anything to make his patient happy. So I asked  my mom,  “  Do you really want to get a shower?  “  Instantly she said,  “  Yes. Is that difficult for you? ”  It was a big challenge. I said,  “ As you wish, mom. I will make it happen for you ” I prepared a wheelchair and covered it with plastic, then I asked my husband, my daughter and my assistant to help me lift my mom from her bed. We put her in the wheelchair then brought her to the bathroom. My daughter and I gave my mom a bath.  She was in pain but she had the biggest smile on her face that day. She was so happy after almost two months lying in her bed without getting a real shower.  I cried  …  I cried in my heart. I was so happy to see the hard work that we did. My mom can go anytime  …  but I am g
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I am still learning

Michael Angelo at the very old age said “ I am still learning “     So do I   It was 31 years ago. For the first time I taught accounting for senior high school student. I was young and unexperienced as teacher at that time. In the class there were  25 students. It was easy because I had confidence that I knew accounting. I taught diligently and clearly at that time. Most of the students got a good grade, but one student kept got 2 out of 10.  I asked him “ Do you understand when I teach you “ He looked at me with a confused face.  He yelled at me “ what “ I was angry then I stared at him “ Why you always get a bad grade ? If you don’t understand you can ask me “  He looked at me, his face showed he was frustrated to deal with me.  I said “ If you never tell me whether you understand or not. I can not help you “  I left him.  I was sad and angry. Basically I don’t care if people hate me, but I hate to be misunderstood.  I shared the problem with other teachers an
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Welcome 2020

It has been months that I didn ’ t write for my blogs. One day my friend sent me a message,  “ Lina, when will you write again in your blogs? ” He didn ’ t know that my life has changed a lot. I had many things to do back in 2019.  A trip to Europe for my daughter ’ s graduation, my daughter ’ s wedding preparation and then my mom got liver cancer. It was good thing and bad thing happened in the same time.  I told myself,  “  It is well with my soul  …  I just need to be focus  “ Duke Ellington said,  “  A problem is a chance for you to do your best  “  and I tried to do it. It is not easy at all, but it is true that each problem in life will give us a chance to do our best. We can learn how to handle our emotion better than before. I learn more from life  … Especially I have to take care of my mom, and she was in pain and she didn ’ t want to be served. I learned to serve her better and I learned to understand her emotional to face the cancer. When my mom decided to take pa
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We love to love

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It was just regular day, but I had two special moments to celebrate. It was my 28 th wedding anniversay and my daughter ’ s birthday. I never expected something special, any gifts or anything. As a quote from Leo Buscagalia said,  “Love is always bestowed as a gift -freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved, we love to love.” Marriage is not an easy journey in life.  The fact that no all the people can have a long lasting marriage. I am probably still the lucky one  … Some people asked me,  “ How do you manage your marriage life ? ” Fawn Weaver said,  “ The greatest marriages are built on teamwork. A mutual respect, a healthy dose of admiration, and a never-ending portion of love and grace. ” It is really important that we should have mutual respect, to give space for our spouse to be himself or herself. Respect that they have their own point of view. We can agree or disagree with that point of view, but we can always discuss it not as com
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“Alone”

I have heard people in a bad relationship but they are still keeping their relationship together  … Why??? Sometimes we couldn ’ t understand why people chose to be suffering like that?  There is not right or wrong answer for this question.  Some of young ladies  … keeping their relationship actually not because they still want it … but they are afraid to be alone in this life!! Sometimes in life we have thousand of considerations before we make an important decision. And sadly sometimes it doesn ’ t make a happy ending.  One of the most important things in life is to understand the rules in reality.  It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone.  Marilyn Monroe I think it is better if we could put this statement into our basic consideration before we make a decision whether we will stay or not in relationship.  We're born alone, we live alone, we die alone. Only through our love and friendship can we create the illusion for the mom
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